HULA HOOP TRICKS

Red (my one-year-old Shi-tzu) and I went to our fourth “training session” at church this morning. We got into this thing because Cole heard them talking about the Paws to Care ministry at our church; we saw the tall and well-trained Olivia (one of those weird looking over-sized poodles) in the church lobby; and Cole thought it would be fun to take Red to visit people in nursing homes.

Swept up by Olivia’s soft fur, the nice lady at the sign-up table and the thought that my son might enjoy doing something other than organizing football cards or playing computer games, I signed up. We showed up for the first training class, and I began to get the whole picture. The training sessions are obedience training – not how to be nice when sweet old ladies in wheelchairs pet you.

So Red and I trek into the church every Saturday and dutifully practice heel; sit-stay; and sit down stay. Today we even learned how to walk through a hula hoop. Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m loving the fact that I am getting free obedience training, but I’m just not sure how my little dog knowing how to do a 60-second sit-down-stay or how to walk through a hula hoop is going to make us more qualified to walk around a nursing home.

The kicker is that we have to pass an “examination” to qualify for serving in this ministry after the eight weeks of training sessions. I kind of figured everyone would pass, but I talked to two women this morning whose dogs didn’t pass last spring. (Granted, one of them has a half Doberman/half lab and the other had a wild puppy) So now the pressure’s on. I think Red does just fine with his sit-stays but he seems only to be able to achieve the sit-down-stay when he’s so tired that he happens to lay down right when I give the command. If the walk-through-the-hula-hoop trick is a major part of the exam, then we’re golden.

The other thing about the class is the number of people who are trying to train their massive mastiffs and rottweilers to “share the love of Christ with those in the lonely stages of life.” Are you kidding me?? If these dogs walked in my nursing home, I’d grab my bingo card and walker and hide. If those dogs pass the exam, and my dog doesn’t, I plan to take it to the elders.