I'm sitting at Corner Bakery trying to get some work done between Cole's sporting events, and an older gentleman just came up and gave me a lovely sketch he did of me on a napkin. I was so flattered. How nice that he had been sitting there watching me and thought enough to draw this nice sketch. He even asked my name and wrote "Beautiful Laura" on it. At this point, being called "beautiful" by any man - no matter how old and crooked his teeth are - makes me very happy.
But then I just noticed that one of the older women playing bridge ALSO has one of his sketches. Huh. He wasn't just noticing me. My vanity had to know if he had written "beautiful" on hers. I couldn't help it. I casually walked by her table and saw that hers had the word "sexy" above her name. SEXY? WTH?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am at least 20 years younger than that woman and have at least 20 fewer wrinkles. Once again my pride has been kicked right out of me, which I probably needed. Don't you hate that whole sanctification thing?
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
THE BEAUTY OF BULK
Stopped by 7-11 this morning and once again was struck by the fact that the place was packed with various landscapers, construction workers and people who generally looked like they work on some sort of a crew. They're there buying breakfast and drinks and snacks.
What gets to me is that convenience stores are the most expensive places for shopping. I'm pretty sure the various crew members in the store would not be considered upper income. I truly want to just gather them all in a circle and say "Listen, guys, you could save a heck of a lot of money if you would just get a little organized. Let's all give John here two dollars, and send him over to Walmart. He can buy us all big bags of chips, six packs of drinks, bags of snacks in bulk and a whole box full of donuts. We'll have to do some sharing, but trust me, it will be worth it."
I figure they could probably save $4 a day with this plan, which would be $20 per week. Come on guys, surely you're feeling the need to cut back like the rest of us?
(I forgot to mention that the reason I was in the 7-11 was to buy a single Diet Coke for $1.50. I can buy a six-pack at Walmart for $2.90. Do the math. It's not pretty.)
What gets to me is that convenience stores are the most expensive places for shopping. I'm pretty sure the various crew members in the store would not be considered upper income. I truly want to just gather them all in a circle and say "Listen, guys, you could save a heck of a lot of money if you would just get a little organized. Let's all give John here two dollars, and send him over to Walmart. He can buy us all big bags of chips, six packs of drinks, bags of snacks in bulk and a whole box full of donuts. We'll have to do some sharing, but trust me, it will be worth it."
I figure they could probably save $4 a day with this plan, which would be $20 per week. Come on guys, surely you're feeling the need to cut back like the rest of us?
(I forgot to mention that the reason I was in the 7-11 was to buy a single Diet Coke for $1.50. I can buy a six-pack at Walmart for $2.90. Do the math. It's not pretty.)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
BIGGER OUCH
Turns out there is something worse than sitting at home on Valentine's Day night working while your son is out to dinner with your ex-husband's girlfriend. My friend A. spent her Valentine's Day evening out to dinner WITH her ex-husband and his girlfriend (as in the girlfriend-that-was-the-other-woman-and-broke-up-the-marriage girlfriend). It was her son's fourth birthday, so there they all were - one, big, happy family (????) - at Chuck E. Cheese.
It is so painful what we single moms grin and bear sometimes for the sake of our kids.
My friend K.'s 9-year-old son had to write an essay about someone who had made a difference in his life. He wrote about his dad's girlfriend (as in the girlfriend-that-was-the-other-woman-and-broke-up-the-marriage girlfriend). He proudly had his mom review it before he turned it in. Talk about a knife in the heart.
It is so painful what we single moms grin and bear sometimes for the sake of our kids.
My friend K.'s 9-year-old son had to write an essay about someone who had made a difference in his life. He wrote about his dad's girlfriend (as in the girlfriend-that-was-the-other-woman-and-broke-up-the-marriage girlfriend). He proudly had his mom review it before he turned it in. Talk about a knife in the heart.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
OUCH
I have spent the evening working and trying to ignore the fact that it is Valentine's Day - much easier to spend the evening alone on Valentine's Day when it's on a school night. Saturday night gives it a bit of an ouch this year. The ouch is ouchier knowing that my son is out with his dad and his dad's girlfriend, trying to teach the girlfriend's son how to take his mom on a date. OUCH.
My 2009 Valentine's Day loot:
- Card, candy and cash(!) from my mom - she knows I need to feel loved!
- Card from Dorothy, a college friend who sends a card on every holiday to every person she has ever known
- Card from local realtor offering "A HEARTfelt thanks for all your continued support!" She actually left two of these cards on my porch AND they are accompanied by a miniature bag of Sweethearts. Awww. I'm going to pretend she didn't leave the card on every single porch in the neighborhood.
Not a great pull this year. Of couse, it's better than two years ago when the only cards I got were from Dorothy (of course) and my therapist. Can you say LOSER?
Tip #2 (tip #1 was to help her get her Christmas tree out of the attic) for being kind to a single mom: SEND HER A CARD ON VALENTINE'S DAY. Remind her that she is loved. Come on people. Doesn't anyone remember that Valentine's Day could be a big downer for those of us who used to be wined and dined and are now stuck at home on Valentine's night trying to make money to pay bills that we never used to worry about?
My 2009 Valentine's Day loot:
- Card, candy and cash(!) from my mom - she knows I need to feel loved!
- Card from Dorothy, a college friend who sends a card on every holiday to every person she has ever known
- Card from local realtor offering "A HEARTfelt thanks for all your continued support!" She actually left two of these cards on my porch AND they are accompanied by a miniature bag of Sweethearts. Awww. I'm going to pretend she didn't leave the card on every single porch in the neighborhood.
Not a great pull this year. Of couse, it's better than two years ago when the only cards I got were from Dorothy (of course) and my therapist. Can you say LOSER?
Tip #2 (tip #1 was to help her get her Christmas tree out of the attic) for being kind to a single mom: SEND HER A CARD ON VALENTINE'S DAY. Remind her that she is loved. Come on people. Doesn't anyone remember that Valentine's Day could be a big downer for those of us who used to be wined and dined and are now stuck at home on Valentine's night trying to make money to pay bills that we never used to worry about?
Friday, February 13, 2009
AM I WORTHY?
OK. I'll start with an apology - if anyone is still reading this blog, I am sorry for my lack of entries. I have a variety of excuses, all of which involve needing to do real work that makes me real money that pays my very real mortgage.
I have joined Facebook. Yea! A 2009 goal already complete. It really is fun and a bit addictive. Who would have known that I would care to know that my long lost grade school friend is headed to a Girl Scout meeting or an old co-worker is watching American Idol or a client has a head cold? Seeing those updates is strangely voyeuristic. (I know I butchered that spelling - too lazy to check it)
The surprising thing for me has been the junior high, butterflies-in-the-stomach experience of wondering who might want to be my friend. I send out those friend requests with a twinge of anxiety, hoping that the person deems me worthy of being a friend.
And then there's the little shot of ego boost that you get when you see there is a friend request for you. Someone wants to be my friend! I am worthy! Somebody remembers me and likes me!
There's also the slightly torturous game of watching those people in the "people you may know" list. OK, yeah, I know them but I'm not going to ask them to be my friend. I bet my name is showing up on their "people you may know" list. Will they pick me? Am I worthy to them? Do they want to be my friend? Especially with guys from the past, I find this strangely stressful.
After seeing my fourth-grade boyfriend on my "people you may know" list for about two weeks and wondering if he still liked me, I got his request. He wants to be my friend! I felt like the George Strait song "Check Yes or No" (you know how it goes: Do you love me? Do you wanna to be my friend? Well if you do, then don't be afraid to take me by the hand, if you want to. I think this is how love goes. Check yes or no.) How exciting it was to "check yes" to his friend request. He still likes me!
I have joined Facebook. Yea! A 2009 goal already complete. It really is fun and a bit addictive. Who would have known that I would care to know that my long lost grade school friend is headed to a Girl Scout meeting or an old co-worker is watching American Idol or a client has a head cold? Seeing those updates is strangely voyeuristic. (I know I butchered that spelling - too lazy to check it)
The surprising thing for me has been the junior high, butterflies-in-the-stomach experience of wondering who might want to be my friend. I send out those friend requests with a twinge of anxiety, hoping that the person deems me worthy of being a friend.
And then there's the little shot of ego boost that you get when you see there is a friend request for you. Someone wants to be my friend! I am worthy! Somebody remembers me and likes me!
There's also the slightly torturous game of watching those people in the "people you may know" list. OK, yeah, I know them but I'm not going to ask them to be my friend. I bet my name is showing up on their "people you may know" list. Will they pick me? Am I worthy to them? Do they want to be my friend? Especially with guys from the past, I find this strangely stressful.
After seeing my fourth-grade boyfriend on my "people you may know" list for about two weeks and wondering if he still liked me, I got his request. He wants to be my friend! I felt like the George Strait song "Check Yes or No" (you know how it goes: Do you love me? Do you wanna to be my friend? Well if you do, then don't be afraid to take me by the hand, if you want to. I think this is how love goes. Check yes or no.) How exciting it was to "check yes" to his friend request. He still likes me!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
SCAVENGING FOR MONEY
I went by the bank today to check on an account I remembered yesterday as I was trying to figure out how I'm going to pay the bills this month. The account was "dormant" but did have $700 in it. Yipee.
In my pathetic (and slightly desperate) search for the account with the bank's "personal banker" it came out that I have a business account with them. Well, he must have pressed a red button under the desk or something because the next thing you know there are FOUR bankers in the office with me. I try to explain that I own a small business - a really small business. But, they were all smiles even while looking at my meager account. They must be really hard up.
Next thing you know I'm in another office getting some credit card that's going to allow me to have no minimum on my business account, and then another banker is asking me if I have a Roth IRA. I keep trying to explain that I really don't have that much money. He says "Well, my advice is always start by having 8 to 12 months of living expenses saved and then look at things like a Roth-IRA." 8 to 12 months? Seriously? Clearly I won't be buying an IRA from him any time soon.
In my pathetic (and slightly desperate) search for the account with the bank's "personal banker" it came out that I have a business account with them. Well, he must have pressed a red button under the desk or something because the next thing you know there are FOUR bankers in the office with me. I try to explain that I own a small business - a really small business. But, they were all smiles even while looking at my meager account. They must be really hard up.
Next thing you know I'm in another office getting some credit card that's going to allow me to have no minimum on my business account, and then another banker is asking me if I have a Roth IRA. I keep trying to explain that I really don't have that much money. He says "Well, my advice is always start by having 8 to 12 months of living expenses saved and then look at things like a Roth-IRA." 8 to 12 months? Seriously? Clearly I won't be buying an IRA from him any time soon.
Friday, January 23, 2009
SIGH
Just drove by single dad's house, and there he was. And I am here. Single dad is, well, a single dad who lives a mere five houses down from me. He is cute, nice and age-appropriate. However, we have never gotten beyond a few brief conversations at block parties and a "hi there" when we stopped by for trick-or-treating. Bummer.
He has a chain link fence and usually keeps the blinds in his den open. Many a night I have driven slowly by to see him eating alone on his black leather couch watching TV as I make my way home to eat alone on my brown couch while watching TV. Sigh.
Now some people might think that sounds a bit stalker-ish, but I prefer to think of it as being neighborly. What if he's in there choking on a strawberry? Who could help him? Or, what if he trips over a misplaced pair of shoes, falls and hits his head? Who would see him laying there unconcious? ME. I would see him (unless he has his lights off or it's during the day - then he'll just have to die) because I am being neighborly.
As an aside, he lives in a kind of creepy house. When he first moved in and showed up at the block party a few years ago, we were all like "OH, you bought THAT house" and he was all like "Yes.....yes, I did....and is there something I'm missing here?" And we're all like "Uh, well, you do know about that house, right?" And he's like, "Uh, what?" Then we tactfully told him that the previous owner had committed suicide in the garage - by shooting himself. He didn't know. Oh my.
I'll keep you updated on single dad. Maybe I'll do a drive-by here in a bit to make sure he hasn't been electrocuted or otherwise injured...it's the neighborly thing to do.
He has a chain link fence and usually keeps the blinds in his den open. Many a night I have driven slowly by to see him eating alone on his black leather couch watching TV as I make my way home to eat alone on my brown couch while watching TV. Sigh.
Now some people might think that sounds a bit stalker-ish, but I prefer to think of it as being neighborly. What if he's in there choking on a strawberry? Who could help him? Or, what if he trips over a misplaced pair of shoes, falls and hits his head? Who would see him laying there unconcious? ME. I would see him (unless he has his lights off or it's during the day - then he'll just have to die) because I am being neighborly.
As an aside, he lives in a kind of creepy house. When he first moved in and showed up at the block party a few years ago, we were all like "OH, you bought THAT house" and he was all like "Yes.....yes, I did....and is there something I'm missing here?" And we're all like "Uh, well, you do know about that house, right?" And he's like, "Uh, what?" Then we tactfully told him that the previous owner had committed suicide in the garage - by shooting himself. He didn't know. Oh my.
I'll keep you updated on single dad. Maybe I'll do a drive-by here in a bit to make sure he hasn't been electrocuted or otherwise injured...it's the neighborly thing to do.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
MAKING PROGRESS
Here's a quick update on progress for my 2009 goals (Pretty cool I already need an update, and it's only Jan. 11. Ha.):
1. Declutter - I cleaned out the large closet in my office while I was putting my Christmas decorations away in the closet. Makes me happy just to see all those nutcrackers and assorted gift bags lined up so neatly. Next up is my pantry. I hope to save some money this month by eating things I already have (brilliant, I know) Who knows what four-year-old tasty treats I'll find?!?!
2. Try new church - I have visited a new church twice now. I like it. It's very large, and I heard that the singles and single parents all kind of sit in one area towards the top. I sat near the top and looked around - I think I was sitting near the high schoolers (or, God help me, the singles are REALLY YOUNG there). I'll try a different section next time.
3. Get on Facebook - Spent last evening with a friend looking through her Facebook account and at all of her "friends" and her friends "friends." I can tell that it will be quite addictive. We studied up on various people and decided that we both need to have "fun" pictures on our page (as in "I may be a single mom but I really like to be all carefree and have fun.") However, these photos are just not easy to come by. We're thinking about staging some with random neighbors.
4. Exercise and losing weight - No comment.
1. Declutter - I cleaned out the large closet in my office while I was putting my Christmas decorations away in the closet. Makes me happy just to see all those nutcrackers and assorted gift bags lined up so neatly. Next up is my pantry. I hope to save some money this month by eating things I already have (brilliant, I know) Who knows what four-year-old tasty treats I'll find?!?!
2. Try new church - I have visited a new church twice now. I like it. It's very large, and I heard that the singles and single parents all kind of sit in one area towards the top. I sat near the top and looked around - I think I was sitting near the high schoolers (or, God help me, the singles are REALLY YOUNG there). I'll try a different section next time.
3. Get on Facebook - Spent last evening with a friend looking through her Facebook account and at all of her "friends" and her friends "friends." I can tell that it will be quite addictive. We studied up on various people and decided that we both need to have "fun" pictures on our page (as in "I may be a single mom but I really like to be all carefree and have fun.") However, these photos are just not easy to come by. We're thinking about staging some with random neighbors.
4. Exercise and losing weight - No comment.
Friday, January 9, 2009
NOT GOOD
I'd seen it coming for several months; however, getting the e-mail that let me know one of my clients would no longer need me for a $12,000 per year project I have worked on for the last five years still took my breath away for a moment. They've reconfigured their magazine, and I knew they really didn't have a need for me anymore. As a freelancer, knowing that I could count on that $12,000 a year was so great. Not good. $12,000 is quite a hit for my little annual income.
I've been a bit smug thinking about rich friends who are now facing trying times. "Well, now they'll really have to see where their trust is." Well, funny thing, looks like I too am going to have to really see where MY trust is.
I did get a call from a colleague I hadn't heard from in, like, ten years, and I'm going to be working on a large project for her here in January. It was a good reminder that God has it all figured out. I love those out-of-the-blue just-in-the-knick-of-time calls about new work. Sometimes, it's a little spooky. Wow, He really does know what's going on in my life and really does care about the details of my life (like how I'm going to pay the electric bill and support my $18-per-week Diet Coke habit).
I also had my annual OB/GYN visit today where I discussed my concern about my weight gain. While he assured me I am much thinner than most people with weight issues and I have nothing medically to worry about, my doctor did take the opportunity to flip through my file and read off what my weight has been every year for the last six years. He pointed out that there's a definite trend, and if we charted it, we'd have a nice diagonal line. Seriously? Did I need to know that much detail?
I'm headed to pull the covers up over my head in hopes that this day will end as soon as possible.
I've been a bit smug thinking about rich friends who are now facing trying times. "Well, now they'll really have to see where their trust is." Well, funny thing, looks like I too am going to have to really see where MY trust is.
I did get a call from a colleague I hadn't heard from in, like, ten years, and I'm going to be working on a large project for her here in January. It was a good reminder that God has it all figured out. I love those out-of-the-blue just-in-the-knick-of-time calls about new work. Sometimes, it's a little spooky. Wow, He really does know what's going on in my life and really does care about the details of my life (like how I'm going to pay the electric bill and support my $18-per-week Diet Coke habit).
I also had my annual OB/GYN visit today where I discussed my concern about my weight gain. While he assured me I am much thinner than most people with weight issues and I have nothing medically to worry about, my doctor did take the opportunity to flip through my file and read off what my weight has been every year for the last six years. He pointed out that there's a definite trend, and if we charted it, we'd have a nice diagonal line. Seriously? Did I need to know that much detail?
I'm headed to pull the covers up over my head in hopes that this day will end as soon as possible.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
BRADY BUNCH FLASHBACK
I was putting up three of my Christmas wreaths (about that time, since we're almost to mid-January) by covering them with white trash bags and then hanging them on nails in my attic when I had a vivid Brady Bunch flashback. Remember the episode when the boys try to scare the girls who were having a slumber party by creating a ghost out of a sheet and then running it down a zip line? Cool.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
BE IT HEREBY RESOLVED...
It's already Jan. 6, and I have yet to wrap my brain around goals for 2009. There's this brief window of opportunity for me: if I don't spend some time thinking through goals for the new year between Dec. 31 and Jan. 2, then life starts happening, and I get too busy to actually plan my life.
I do have a few resolutions in mind. They're not very organized and a bit random, but here we go:
1. Declutter - Did you see that guy on Oprah? Set the timer, get throw-away and give-away trash bags and attack a particular drawer, shelf, etc. Isn't it funny how just knowing that a junk drawer that you rarely open or a the back of a kitchen cabinet is organized and uncluttered makes you feel not just calm, but really good? I hope to tackle one room per month in 2009.
2. Lose eight pounds - I have got to make it happen. I saw a suggestion of taking photos of every meal you eat, kind of like a visual food diary, to keep you accountable. I will spare you endless photos of my meals!
3. Exercise regularly - This goes with #2. Plus, I'd like to improve my speed and prowess (ha) on the soccer field this spring (GO BLACK CATS!)I'm planning to run and lift some arm weights.
4. Consider going to a new church - I've never really found my place at the church I've been going to for the past six years. Seems like most churches don't quite know what to do with us divorced people, and frankly, I don't blame them. I don't have an answer. Lump us with the carefree, young singles? (Humiliating.) Put us in a 40+ singles group? (Wheeeeeee.) Put all the divorced people together? (What a fun group of battered and bruised people that would be!) I'm going to try out a church I know of that apparently has a really strong single parent group. I need to just suck it up and admit that, although most of my friends are married, single parents are my people.
5. Get on Facebook - Although I thought it was just for angst-ridden and hormone-driven teens, apparently Facebook is making its way to angst-ridden and hormone-driven adults. Perhaps a boy from my past will discover me, and I will decide that a nerdy, smart guy is exactly what I need at this point in my life! Or, more likely, some random sorority sister will find me, along with all of our other sorority sisters, and try to get me to buy Amway or something. I do think it will be fun. I'll keep you updated.
I do have a few resolutions in mind. They're not very organized and a bit random, but here we go:
1. Declutter - Did you see that guy on Oprah? Set the timer, get throw-away and give-away trash bags and attack a particular drawer, shelf, etc. Isn't it funny how just knowing that a junk drawer that you rarely open or a the back of a kitchen cabinet is organized and uncluttered makes you feel not just calm, but really good? I hope to tackle one room per month in 2009.
2. Lose eight pounds - I have got to make it happen. I saw a suggestion of taking photos of every meal you eat, kind of like a visual food diary, to keep you accountable. I will spare you endless photos of my meals!
3. Exercise regularly - This goes with #2. Plus, I'd like to improve my speed and prowess (ha) on the soccer field this spring (GO BLACK CATS!)I'm planning to run and lift some arm weights.
4. Consider going to a new church - I've never really found my place at the church I've been going to for the past six years. Seems like most churches don't quite know what to do with us divorced people, and frankly, I don't blame them. I don't have an answer. Lump us with the carefree, young singles? (Humiliating.) Put us in a 40+ singles group? (Wheeeeeee.) Put all the divorced people together? (What a fun group of battered and bruised people that would be!) I'm going to try out a church I know of that apparently has a really strong single parent group. I need to just suck it up and admit that, although most of my friends are married, single parents are my people.
5. Get on Facebook - Although I thought it was just for angst-ridden and hormone-driven teens, apparently Facebook is making its way to angst-ridden and hormone-driven adults. Perhaps a boy from my past will discover me, and I will decide that a nerdy, smart guy is exactly what I need at this point in my life! Or, more likely, some random sorority sister will find me, along with all of our other sorority sisters, and try to get me to buy Amway or something. I do think it will be fun. I'll keep you updated.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
SURPRISE. SURPRISE.
Due to a rather twisted turn of events, I ended up not having Cole on New Year's Eve. While being stuck at home with a child on New Year's Eve can be depressing, being stuck at home by yourself can be REALLY depressing. So, I called my friend A. and she called her friend M. and we were ready for a girls' night out.
We went to the bar at Nobu and enjoyed drinks, sushi and people watching. The short-short dress with very bare legs was definitely the uniform of the night. We ended up at another bar at midnight toasting in the new year.
M. kept toasting to the fact that by next year at this time we would all have men in our lives. I kept telling her to slow her roll and just toast to having had a date by this time next year. Sad to say, but at this point I think that might be a more realistic goal.
Here's to good friends, good health, good work and a good date in 2009!
We went to the bar at Nobu and enjoyed drinks, sushi and people watching. The short-short dress with very bare legs was definitely the uniform of the night. We ended up at another bar at midnight toasting in the new year.
M. kept toasting to the fact that by next year at this time we would all have men in our lives. I kept telling her to slow her roll and just toast to having had a date by this time next year. Sad to say, but at this point I think that might be a more realistic goal.
Here's to good friends, good health, good work and a good date in 2009!
Monday, December 29, 2008
AS USUAL
Getting organized for the week, I asked my ex-husband what his plans were for the week. The New Year's Eve conversation went as it usually does:
Him: So, well, what were you thinking for New Year's Eve?
Me: Well, what were you thinking?
Him: Well, we [him and his girlfriend] were kind of hoping you didn't have plans...
Me: Hoping or planning that I didn't have plans?
Him: Well, you know.
And then I have to admit: OK, fine. I don't have plans. I'll be glad to ring in the New Year with Cole.
I figure one of us might as well get to have a night on the town, and it wasn't going to be me. (To note: Last New Year's Eve I did have plans - a fabulous dinner party at one of my best friend's house - I was the only single person there, but what's new? I was so proud to tell my ex-husband I actually did have plans. Once over the past eight years isn't bad!)
Him: So, well, what were you thinking for New Year's Eve?
Me: Well, what were you thinking?
Him: Well, we [him and his girlfriend] were kind of hoping you didn't have plans...
Me: Hoping or planning that I didn't have plans?
Him: Well, you know.
And then I have to admit: OK, fine. I don't have plans. I'll be glad to ring in the New Year with Cole.
I figure one of us might as well get to have a night on the town, and it wasn't going to be me. (To note: Last New Year's Eve I did have plans - a fabulous dinner party at one of my best friend's house - I was the only single person there, but what's new? I was so proud to tell my ex-husband I actually did have plans. Once over the past eight years isn't bad!)
Friday, December 26, 2008
ME. MOM. AND DAD. IN SANTA FE
It’s Friday night, and I just got back from my Christmas in Santa Fe. I am dogless, kidless and, oh yes, parentless. Whew.
The trip to Santa Fe with my parents was nice. I’ll give you a few details, but let me start by venting a bit. I knew this going in, but my dad is just getting old – or at least he sure acts old (he’s not 70 yet!). I vowed when I started this blog that I wouldn’t ream on friends or relatives, so I’ll try to keep my comments mild. We all laughed the day we got there because Dad decided to wear my grandmother’s fluffy mink earmuffs he had found at home along with a ball cap. Nice.
I can say with great confidence that the keeping-up-with-things neurons in Dad’s brain have totally burned out. At some point or another during the three-day trip he spent time (with much angst) looking for, in no particular order: his shoes, cell phone, gloves, mink earmuffs, hat, gloves, hearing aids, brushes, scarf, gloves, coat, room key and house key.
The other thing that got under my skin was the incessant - and incorrect - use of the “do what?” Lack of hearing? Lack of focus? I’m not sure, but every time you spoke to him, the first words out of his mouth were “do what?” As in:
“Our reservations are for 7 tonight”
“Do what?”
“Did you see all of that snow?”
“Do what?”
”Have you found your freakin' gloves yet?”
“Do what?”
“For the love of god, could you quit saying ‘do what’?”
“.......Do what?”
OK. Enough of that. Our room was small, but good – great view and very cool to have a fireplace in the room.
On Christmas Eve, we took the pilgrimage that all tourists in Santa Fe on Christmas Eve take: the march down Canyon Road. If you Google "Canyon Road in Santa Fe", you get more than 400,000 results, and every travel book raves about Christmas Eve on Canyon Road. Here’s how one Web site describes it:
One of Santa Fe's most beloved ways of celebrating the holiday season, the Canyon Road Farolito Walk lights up the hearts and souls of the crowds that walk this famous road every Christmas Eve. Small bags filled with sand contain votive candles that softly glow on this magical night as they line the neighborhood streets and adobe walls. Carolers spontaneously gather around luminarios, or small bonfires, and sing for joy as they warm themselves from the cold night.
Here’s what we experienced: a mass of people walking up a road, and then turning around and walking back down the road. No “carolers spontaneously gathered”, no “small bonfires,” no "singing for joy." One person was selling cider, and we did see a flame thrower dressed as Jesus. That was about it. We did get to traipse through snow (pretty cool for us Texans), and we did laugh about what a letdown it was.
Later that night we went to our hotel’s bar where it was apparently AARP night, with the piano player playing the requests, which included Moon River and My Funny Valentine. No joke. We did get her to play a few Christmas songs, because, oh yeah, IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE.
Christmas Day, we enjoyed a massive brunch where I ate more meat/protein than I have probably eaten in the past two years. Very nice. Mom and I ate dinner in a bar that night – sad to say it was not our first time to eat Christmas dinner in a bar. Today, we drove around in the snow and then headed to the airport.
It was a good Christmas, but certainly as I sat in the El Chico-esque bar eating nachos with my parents on Christmas Eve and as I read my 15th magazine on Christmas Day and as I spoke to my son for about five minutes over the three-day span, I was reminded THIS IS NOT HOW IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE!
The trip to Santa Fe with my parents was nice. I’ll give you a few details, but let me start by venting a bit. I knew this going in, but my dad is just getting old – or at least he sure acts old (he’s not 70 yet!). I vowed when I started this blog that I wouldn’t ream on friends or relatives, so I’ll try to keep my comments mild. We all laughed the day we got there because Dad decided to wear my grandmother’s fluffy mink earmuffs he had found at home along with a ball cap. Nice.
I can say with great confidence that the keeping-up-with-things neurons in Dad’s brain have totally burned out. At some point or another during the three-day trip he spent time (with much angst) looking for, in no particular order: his shoes, cell phone, gloves, mink earmuffs, hat, gloves, hearing aids, brushes, scarf, gloves, coat, room key and house key.
The other thing that got under my skin was the incessant - and incorrect - use of the “do what?” Lack of hearing? Lack of focus? I’m not sure, but every time you spoke to him, the first words out of his mouth were “do what?” As in:
“Our reservations are for 7 tonight”
“Do what?”
“Did you see all of that snow?”
“Do what?”
”Have you found your freakin' gloves yet?”
“Do what?”
“For the love of god, could you quit saying ‘do what’?”
“.......Do what?”
OK. Enough of that. Our room was small, but good – great view and very cool to have a fireplace in the room.
On Christmas Eve, we took the pilgrimage that all tourists in Santa Fe on Christmas Eve take: the march down Canyon Road. If you Google "Canyon Road in Santa Fe", you get more than 400,000 results, and every travel book raves about Christmas Eve on Canyon Road. Here’s how one Web site describes it:
One of Santa Fe's most beloved ways of celebrating the holiday season, the Canyon Road Farolito Walk lights up the hearts and souls of the crowds that walk this famous road every Christmas Eve. Small bags filled with sand contain votive candles that softly glow on this magical night as they line the neighborhood streets and adobe walls. Carolers spontaneously gather around luminarios, or small bonfires, and sing for joy as they warm themselves from the cold night.
Here’s what we experienced: a mass of people walking up a road, and then turning around and walking back down the road. No “carolers spontaneously gathered”, no “small bonfires,” no "singing for joy." One person was selling cider, and we did see a flame thrower dressed as Jesus. That was about it. We did get to traipse through snow (pretty cool for us Texans), and we did laugh about what a letdown it was.
Later that night we went to our hotel’s bar where it was apparently AARP night, with the piano player playing the requests, which included Moon River and My Funny Valentine. No joke. We did get her to play a few Christmas songs, because, oh yeah, IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE.
Christmas Day, we enjoyed a massive brunch where I ate more meat/protein than I have probably eaten in the past two years. Very nice. Mom and I ate dinner in a bar that night – sad to say it was not our first time to eat Christmas dinner in a bar. Today, we drove around in the snow and then headed to the airport.
It was a good Christmas, but certainly as I sat in the El Chico-esque bar eating nachos with my parents on Christmas Eve and as I read my 15th magazine on Christmas Day and as I spoke to my son for about five minutes over the three-day span, I was reminded THIS IS NOT HOW IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE!
Friday, December 19, 2008
CHRISTMAS AT MY HOUSE
OK. So here's the deal. I spent THREE days following Thanksgiving decorating my house for Christmas. I tried a new mantle, created a new tree for my kitchen table and even created a vignette of three candles nestled in "snow" (crystals from our adventure last year to Arkansas).
It is Dec. 19, and I've coming to the depressing realization that the only people who have seen the results of my three days of decorating are me, Cole, my mom, my maid and one mom who made it into the entryway of my house.
Instead of spending a few hours of staring-at-the-ceiling-fan therapy, I've decided to be proactive and share my decorated house with you. I am telling myself that there are a number of "yous" out there that actually read this blog.
(I have now spent 45 minutes trying to load photos for the first time to my blog. I am not happy. I am all about work-arounds, so I'm just going to load them as separate posts)
It is Dec. 19, and I've coming to the depressing realization that the only people who have seen the results of my three days of decorating are me, Cole, my mom, my maid and one mom who made it into the entryway of my house.
Instead of spending a few hours of staring-at-the-ceiling-fan therapy, I've decided to be proactive and share my decorated house with you. I am telling myself that there are a number of "yous" out there that actually read this blog.
(I have now spent 45 minutes trying to load photos for the first time to my blog. I am not happy. I am all about work-arounds, so I'm just going to load them as separate posts)
HERE'S OUR TREE
This is the Christmas tree - it's held together by a lot of duct tape and leans precariously to the right, but once it's all decorated, it works great. Note the gaudy, plastic crystal, lit star at the top - that's what I get for letting a four-year-old pick out our tree topper!
PICTURE THIS
Here's my collection of Christmas frames with Christmas photos. Note the photo on the right in the red frame of Red with Santa. We took him to the free "Get Your Pet's Photo Taken with Santa" event at Petco last year, and lo and behold, Santa was black.
GIFTS
OK. I have no idea how to rotate this photo, but you get the idea. My red bow talent is the result of a summer working retail at the mall 23 years ago.
DINING TREE
Here's the new tree I created using my collection of antique silverware with monograms and old napkin rings. (Note the remants in the bottom right of the mess I had to shove to the side to take this photo...)
Sunday, December 14, 2008
A MESSAGE FROM????
Red, Cole and I made another trip to a nursing home today, and I met a woman that seemed to have a message for me. Hmmm.
Cole did great - nothing phased him (not the sleeping people in their wheelchairs in the halls, not the man who kept giving him Ritz crackers, not the blind woman who couldn't really respond and not even the drooling man wearing diapers) until we got to one room that had that distinct, nasty nursing home smell. You know. Basically a diaper that needed changing.
He was really grossed out, and I felt bad that I had not mentioned that possibility. Later, though, he said "At first it grossed me out, but then it just made me sad." Then we had a long talk about how humiliating it would be. Never know what might come up at these visits....
So, there we were on the third floor and walked towards a woman in a wheelchair with a blank look on her face. She saw Cole, and her eyes followed him. We introduced ourselves, and she asked slowly if Cole was my boy. I said yes. She stared at me - really seemed to look deeply into my eyes. Cole went off with Red, and I stayed with her (Mrs. Rogers). It was hard to follow what she was saying at first.
Then, she looked right at me and said "You are brave."
Let me tell you, there are many days as a single mom I feel much more of a mess than brave. She said it again. "You are very brave." I said thanks and she asked "do you take care of your boy?" I said yes. She said "Well, you need some help." She was still looking straight into my eyes.
By this point, I'm wondering "who is this lady? how does she know about my life?" I said "Well, yes I really do need help." It was so...not sure what the word is. Thoughtful? Eerie? Prophetic? Spiritual? Not to sound too weird, but it was like a message I needed to hear.
Now, she did go on to tell me I should just call the nursery to get some help. But, I'm going to choose to believe that she did have a message for me, not just some confused ramblings. I plan to look for her on our next visit...maybe she'll have another message, or maybe she'll just be asleep.
Cole did great - nothing phased him (not the sleeping people in their wheelchairs in the halls, not the man who kept giving him Ritz crackers, not the blind woman who couldn't really respond and not even the drooling man wearing diapers) until we got to one room that had that distinct, nasty nursing home smell. You know. Basically a diaper that needed changing.
He was really grossed out, and I felt bad that I had not mentioned that possibility. Later, though, he said "At first it grossed me out, but then it just made me sad." Then we had a long talk about how humiliating it would be. Never know what might come up at these visits....
So, there we were on the third floor and walked towards a woman in a wheelchair with a blank look on her face. She saw Cole, and her eyes followed him. We introduced ourselves, and she asked slowly if Cole was my boy. I said yes. She stared at me - really seemed to look deeply into my eyes. Cole went off with Red, and I stayed with her (Mrs. Rogers). It was hard to follow what she was saying at first.
Then, she looked right at me and said "You are brave."
Let me tell you, there are many days as a single mom I feel much more of a mess than brave. She said it again. "You are very brave." I said thanks and she asked "do you take care of your boy?" I said yes. She said "Well, you need some help." She was still looking straight into my eyes.
By this point, I'm wondering "who is this lady? how does she know about my life?" I said "Well, yes I really do need help." It was so...not sure what the word is. Thoughtful? Eerie? Prophetic? Spiritual? Not to sound too weird, but it was like a message I needed to hear.
Now, she did go on to tell me I should just call the nursery to get some help. But, I'm going to choose to believe that she did have a message for me, not just some confused ramblings. I plan to look for her on our next visit...maybe she'll have another message, or maybe she'll just be asleep.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
