SCAVENGING FOR MONEY

I went by the bank today to check on an account I remembered yesterday as I was trying to figure out how I'm going to pay the bills this month. The account was "dormant" but did have $700 in it. Yipee.

In my pathetic (and slightly desperate) search for the account with the bank's "personal banker" it came out that I have a business account with them. Well, he must have pressed a red button under the desk or something because the next thing you know there are FOUR bankers in the office with me. I try to explain that I own a small business - a really small business. But, they were all smiles even while looking at my meager account. They must be really hard up.

Next thing you know I'm in another office getting some credit card that's going to allow me to have no minimum on my business account, and then another banker is asking me if I have a Roth IRA. I keep trying to explain that I really don't have that much money. He says "Well, my advice is always start by having 8 to 12 months of living expenses saved and then look at things like a Roth-IRA." 8 to 12 months? Seriously? Clearly I won't be buying an IRA from him any time soon.

SIGH

Just drove by single dad's house, and there he was. And I am here. Single dad is, well, a single dad who lives a mere five houses down from me. He is cute, nice and age-appropriate. However, we have never gotten beyond a few brief conversations at block parties and a "hi there" when we stopped by for trick-or-treating. Bummer.

He has a chain link fence and usually keeps the blinds in his den open. Many a night I have driven slowly by to see him eating alone on his black leather couch watching TV as I make my way home to eat alone on my brown couch while watching TV. Sigh.

Now some people might think that sounds a bit stalker-ish, but I prefer to think of it as being neighborly. What if he's in there choking on a strawberry? Who could help him? Or, what if he trips over a misplaced pair of shoes, falls and hits his head? Who would see him laying there unconcious? ME. I would see him (unless he has his lights off or it's during the day - then he'll just have to die) because I am being neighborly.

As an aside, he lives in a kind of creepy house. When he first moved in and showed up at the block party a few years ago, we were all like "OH, you bought THAT house" and he was all like "Yes.....yes, I did....and is there something I'm missing here?" And we're all like "Uh, well, you do know about that house, right?" And he's like, "Uh, what?" Then we tactfully told him that the previous owner had committed suicide in the garage - by shooting himself. He didn't know. Oh my.

I'll keep you updated on single dad. Maybe I'll do a drive-by here in a bit to make sure he hasn't been electrocuted or otherwise injured...it's the neighborly thing to do.

MAKING PROGRESS

Here's a quick update on progress for my 2009 goals (Pretty cool I already need an update, and it's only Jan. 11. Ha.):

1. Declutter - I cleaned out the large closet in my office while I was putting my Christmas decorations away in the closet. Makes me happy just to see all those nutcrackers and assorted gift bags lined up so neatly. Next up is my pantry. I hope to save some money this month by eating things I already have (brilliant, I know) Who knows what four-year-old tasty treats I'll find?!?!

2. Try new church - I have visited a new church twice now. I like it. It's very large, and I heard that the singles and single parents all kind of sit in one area towards the top. I sat near the top and looked around - I think I was sitting near the high schoolers (or, God help me, the singles are REALLY YOUNG there). I'll try a different section next time.

3. Get on Facebook - Spent last evening with a friend looking through her Facebook account and at all of her "friends" and her friends "friends." I can tell that it will be quite addictive. We studied up on various people and decided that we both need to have "fun" pictures on our page (as in "I may be a single mom but I really like to be all carefree and have fun.") However, these photos are just not easy to come by. We're thinking about staging some with random neighbors.

4. Exercise and losing weight - No comment.

NOT GOOD

I'd seen it coming for several months; however, getting the e-mail that let me know one of my clients would no longer need me for a $12,000 per year project I have worked on for the last five years still took my breath away for a moment. They've reconfigured their magazine, and I knew they really didn't have a need for me anymore. As a freelancer, knowing that I could count on that $12,000 a year was so great. Not good. $12,000 is quite a hit for my little annual income.

I've been a bit smug thinking about rich friends who are now facing trying times. "Well, now they'll really have to see where their trust is." Well, funny thing, looks like I too am going to have to really see where MY trust is.

I did get a call from a colleague I hadn't heard from in, like, ten years, and I'm going to be working on a large project for her here in January. It was a good reminder that God has it all figured out. I love those out-of-the-blue just-in-the-knick-of-time calls about new work. Sometimes, it's a little spooky. Wow, He really does know what's going on in my life and really does care about the details of my life (like how I'm going to pay the electric bill and support my $18-per-week Diet Coke habit).

I also had my annual OB/GYN visit today where I discussed my concern about my weight gain. While he assured me I am much thinner than most people with weight issues and I have nothing medically to worry about, my doctor did take the opportunity to flip through my file and read off what my weight has been every year for the last six years. He pointed out that there's a definite trend, and if we charted it, we'd have a nice diagonal line. Seriously? Did I need to know that much detail?

I'm headed to pull the covers up over my head in hopes that this day will end as soon as possible.

BRADY BUNCH FLASHBACK

I was putting up three of my Christmas wreaths (about that time, since we're almost to mid-January) by covering them with white trash bags and then hanging them on nails in my attic when I had a vivid Brady Bunch flashback. Remember the episode when the boys try to scare the girls who were having a slumber party by creating a ghost out of a sheet and then running it down a zip line? Cool.

BE IT HEREBY RESOLVED...

It's already Jan. 6, and I have yet to wrap my brain around goals for 2009. There's this brief window of opportunity for me: if I don't spend some time thinking through goals for the new year between Dec. 31 and Jan. 2, then life starts happening, and I get too busy to actually plan my life.

I do have a few resolutions in mind. They're not very organized and a bit random, but here we go:

1. Declutter - Did you see that guy on Oprah? Set the timer, get throw-away and give-away trash bags and attack a particular drawer, shelf, etc. Isn't it funny how just knowing that a junk drawer that you rarely open or a the back of a kitchen cabinet is organized and uncluttered makes you feel not just calm, but really good? I hope to tackle one room per month in 2009.

2. Lose eight pounds - I have got to make it happen. I saw a suggestion of taking photos of every meal you eat, kind of like a visual food diary, to keep you accountable. I will spare you endless photos of my meals!

3. Exercise regularly - This goes with #2. Plus, I'd like to improve my speed and prowess (ha) on the soccer field this spring (GO BLACK CATS!)I'm planning to run and lift some arm weights.

4. Consider going to a new church - I've never really found my place at the church I've been going to for the past six years. Seems like most churches don't quite know what to do with us divorced people, and frankly, I don't blame them. I don't have an answer. Lump us with the carefree, young singles? (Humiliating.) Put us in a 40+ singles group? (Wheeeeeee.) Put all the divorced people together? (What a fun group of battered and bruised people that would be!) I'm going to try out a church I know of that apparently has a really strong single parent group. I need to just suck it up and admit that, although most of my friends are married, single parents are my people.

5. Get on Facebook - Although I thought it was just for angst-ridden and hormone-driven teens, apparently Facebook is making its way to angst-ridden and hormone-driven adults. Perhaps a boy from my past will discover me, and I will decide that a nerdy, smart guy is exactly what I need at this point in my life! Or, more likely, some random sorority sister will find me, along with all of our other sorority sisters, and try to get me to buy Amway or something. I do think it will be fun. I'll keep you updated.

SURPRISE. SURPRISE.

Due to a rather twisted turn of events, I ended up not having Cole on New Year's Eve. While being stuck at home with a child on New Year's Eve can be depressing, being stuck at home by yourself can be REALLY depressing. So, I called my friend A. and she called her friend M. and we were ready for a girls' night out.

We went to the bar at Nobu and enjoyed drinks, sushi and people watching. The short-short dress with very bare legs was definitely the uniform of the night. We ended up at another bar at midnight toasting in the new year.

M. kept toasting to the fact that by next year at this time we would all have men in our lives. I kept telling her to slow her roll and just toast to having had a date by this time next year. Sad to say, but at this point I think that might be a more realistic goal.

Here's to good friends, good health, good work and a good date in 2009!