I'm sitting at Corner Bakery trying to get some work done between Cole's sporting events, and an older gentleman just came up and gave me a lovely sketch he did of me on a napkin. I was so flattered. How nice that he had been sitting there watching me and thought enough to draw this nice sketch. He even asked my name and wrote "Beautiful Laura" on it. At this point, being called "beautiful" by any man - no matter how old and crooked his teeth are - makes me very happy.
But then I just noticed that one of the older women playing bridge ALSO has one of his sketches. Huh. He wasn't just noticing me. My vanity had to know if he had written "beautiful" on hers. I couldn't help it. I casually walked by her table and saw that hers had the word "sexy" above her name. SEXY? WTH?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am at least 20 years younger than that woman and have at least 20 fewer wrinkles. Once again my pride has been kicked right out of me, which I probably needed. Don't you hate that whole sanctification thing?
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
THE BEAUTY OF BULK
Stopped by 7-11 this morning and once again was struck by the fact that the place was packed with various landscapers, construction workers and people who generally looked like they work on some sort of a crew. They're there buying breakfast and drinks and snacks.
What gets to me is that convenience stores are the most expensive places for shopping. I'm pretty sure the various crew members in the store would not be considered upper income. I truly want to just gather them all in a circle and say "Listen, guys, you could save a heck of a lot of money if you would just get a little organized. Let's all give John here two dollars, and send him over to Walmart. He can buy us all big bags of chips, six packs of drinks, bags of snacks in bulk and a whole box full of donuts. We'll have to do some sharing, but trust me, it will be worth it."
I figure they could probably save $4 a day with this plan, which would be $20 per week. Come on guys, surely you're feeling the need to cut back like the rest of us?
(I forgot to mention that the reason I was in the 7-11 was to buy a single Diet Coke for $1.50. I can buy a six-pack at Walmart for $2.90. Do the math. It's not pretty.)
What gets to me is that convenience stores are the most expensive places for shopping. I'm pretty sure the various crew members in the store would not be considered upper income. I truly want to just gather them all in a circle and say "Listen, guys, you could save a heck of a lot of money if you would just get a little organized. Let's all give John here two dollars, and send him over to Walmart. He can buy us all big bags of chips, six packs of drinks, bags of snacks in bulk and a whole box full of donuts. We'll have to do some sharing, but trust me, it will be worth it."
I figure they could probably save $4 a day with this plan, which would be $20 per week. Come on guys, surely you're feeling the need to cut back like the rest of us?
(I forgot to mention that the reason I was in the 7-11 was to buy a single Diet Coke for $1.50. I can buy a six-pack at Walmart for $2.90. Do the math. It's not pretty.)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
BIGGER OUCH
Turns out there is something worse than sitting at home on Valentine's Day night working while your son is out to dinner with your ex-husband's girlfriend. My friend A. spent her Valentine's Day evening out to dinner WITH her ex-husband and his girlfriend (as in the girlfriend-that-was-the-other-woman-and-broke-up-the-marriage girlfriend). It was her son's fourth birthday, so there they all were - one, big, happy family (????) - at Chuck E. Cheese.
It is so painful what we single moms grin and bear sometimes for the sake of our kids.
My friend K.'s 9-year-old son had to write an essay about someone who had made a difference in his life. He wrote about his dad's girlfriend (as in the girlfriend-that-was-the-other-woman-and-broke-up-the-marriage girlfriend). He proudly had his mom review it before he turned it in. Talk about a knife in the heart.
It is so painful what we single moms grin and bear sometimes for the sake of our kids.
My friend K.'s 9-year-old son had to write an essay about someone who had made a difference in his life. He wrote about his dad's girlfriend (as in the girlfriend-that-was-the-other-woman-and-broke-up-the-marriage girlfriend). He proudly had his mom review it before he turned it in. Talk about a knife in the heart.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
OUCH
I have spent the evening working and trying to ignore the fact that it is Valentine's Day - much easier to spend the evening alone on Valentine's Day when it's on a school night. Saturday night gives it a bit of an ouch this year. The ouch is ouchier knowing that my son is out with his dad and his dad's girlfriend, trying to teach the girlfriend's son how to take his mom on a date. OUCH.
My 2009 Valentine's Day loot:
- Card, candy and cash(!) from my mom - she knows I need to feel loved!
- Card from Dorothy, a college friend who sends a card on every holiday to every person she has ever known
- Card from local realtor offering "A HEARTfelt thanks for all your continued support!" She actually left two of these cards on my porch AND they are accompanied by a miniature bag of Sweethearts. Awww. I'm going to pretend she didn't leave the card on every single porch in the neighborhood.
Not a great pull this year. Of couse, it's better than two years ago when the only cards I got were from Dorothy (of course) and my therapist. Can you say LOSER?
Tip #2 (tip #1 was to help her get her Christmas tree out of the attic) for being kind to a single mom: SEND HER A CARD ON VALENTINE'S DAY. Remind her that she is loved. Come on people. Doesn't anyone remember that Valentine's Day could be a big downer for those of us who used to be wined and dined and are now stuck at home on Valentine's night trying to make money to pay bills that we never used to worry about?
My 2009 Valentine's Day loot:
- Card, candy and cash(!) from my mom - she knows I need to feel loved!
- Card from Dorothy, a college friend who sends a card on every holiday to every person she has ever known
- Card from local realtor offering "A HEARTfelt thanks for all your continued support!" She actually left two of these cards on my porch AND they are accompanied by a miniature bag of Sweethearts. Awww. I'm going to pretend she didn't leave the card on every single porch in the neighborhood.
Not a great pull this year. Of couse, it's better than two years ago when the only cards I got were from Dorothy (of course) and my therapist. Can you say LOSER?
Tip #2 (tip #1 was to help her get her Christmas tree out of the attic) for being kind to a single mom: SEND HER A CARD ON VALENTINE'S DAY. Remind her that she is loved. Come on people. Doesn't anyone remember that Valentine's Day could be a big downer for those of us who used to be wined and dined and are now stuck at home on Valentine's night trying to make money to pay bills that we never used to worry about?
Friday, February 13, 2009
AM I WORTHY?
OK. I'll start with an apology - if anyone is still reading this blog, I am sorry for my lack of entries. I have a variety of excuses, all of which involve needing to do real work that makes me real money that pays my very real mortgage.
I have joined Facebook. Yea! A 2009 goal already complete. It really is fun and a bit addictive. Who would have known that I would care to know that my long lost grade school friend is headed to a Girl Scout meeting or an old co-worker is watching American Idol or a client has a head cold? Seeing those updates is strangely voyeuristic. (I know I butchered that spelling - too lazy to check it)
The surprising thing for me has been the junior high, butterflies-in-the-stomach experience of wondering who might want to be my friend. I send out those friend requests with a twinge of anxiety, hoping that the person deems me worthy of being a friend.
And then there's the little shot of ego boost that you get when you see there is a friend request for you. Someone wants to be my friend! I am worthy! Somebody remembers me and likes me!
There's also the slightly torturous game of watching those people in the "people you may know" list. OK, yeah, I know them but I'm not going to ask them to be my friend. I bet my name is showing up on their "people you may know" list. Will they pick me? Am I worthy to them? Do they want to be my friend? Especially with guys from the past, I find this strangely stressful.
After seeing my fourth-grade boyfriend on my "people you may know" list for about two weeks and wondering if he still liked me, I got his request. He wants to be my friend! I felt like the George Strait song "Check Yes or No" (you know how it goes: Do you love me? Do you wanna to be my friend? Well if you do, then don't be afraid to take me by the hand, if you want to. I think this is how love goes. Check yes or no.) How exciting it was to "check yes" to his friend request. He still likes me!
I have joined Facebook. Yea! A 2009 goal already complete. It really is fun and a bit addictive. Who would have known that I would care to know that my long lost grade school friend is headed to a Girl Scout meeting or an old co-worker is watching American Idol or a client has a head cold? Seeing those updates is strangely voyeuristic. (I know I butchered that spelling - too lazy to check it)
The surprising thing for me has been the junior high, butterflies-in-the-stomach experience of wondering who might want to be my friend. I send out those friend requests with a twinge of anxiety, hoping that the person deems me worthy of being a friend.
And then there's the little shot of ego boost that you get when you see there is a friend request for you. Someone wants to be my friend! I am worthy! Somebody remembers me and likes me!
There's also the slightly torturous game of watching those people in the "people you may know" list. OK, yeah, I know them but I'm not going to ask them to be my friend. I bet my name is showing up on their "people you may know" list. Will they pick me? Am I worthy to them? Do they want to be my friend? Especially with guys from the past, I find this strangely stressful.
After seeing my fourth-grade boyfriend on my "people you may know" list for about two weeks and wondering if he still liked me, I got his request. He wants to be my friend! I felt like the George Strait song "Check Yes or No" (you know how it goes: Do you love me? Do you wanna to be my friend? Well if you do, then don't be afraid to take me by the hand, if you want to. I think this is how love goes. Check yes or no.) How exciting it was to "check yes" to his friend request. He still likes me!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
SCAVENGING FOR MONEY
I went by the bank today to check on an account I remembered yesterday as I was trying to figure out how I'm going to pay the bills this month. The account was "dormant" but did have $700 in it. Yipee.
In my pathetic (and slightly desperate) search for the account with the bank's "personal banker" it came out that I have a business account with them. Well, he must have pressed a red button under the desk or something because the next thing you know there are FOUR bankers in the office with me. I try to explain that I own a small business - a really small business. But, they were all smiles even while looking at my meager account. They must be really hard up.
Next thing you know I'm in another office getting some credit card that's going to allow me to have no minimum on my business account, and then another banker is asking me if I have a Roth IRA. I keep trying to explain that I really don't have that much money. He says "Well, my advice is always start by having 8 to 12 months of living expenses saved and then look at things like a Roth-IRA." 8 to 12 months? Seriously? Clearly I won't be buying an IRA from him any time soon.
In my pathetic (and slightly desperate) search for the account with the bank's "personal banker" it came out that I have a business account with them. Well, he must have pressed a red button under the desk or something because the next thing you know there are FOUR bankers in the office with me. I try to explain that I own a small business - a really small business. But, they were all smiles even while looking at my meager account. They must be really hard up.
Next thing you know I'm in another office getting some credit card that's going to allow me to have no minimum on my business account, and then another banker is asking me if I have a Roth IRA. I keep trying to explain that I really don't have that much money. He says "Well, my advice is always start by having 8 to 12 months of living expenses saved and then look at things like a Roth-IRA." 8 to 12 months? Seriously? Clearly I won't be buying an IRA from him any time soon.
Friday, January 23, 2009
SIGH
Just drove by single dad's house, and there he was. And I am here. Single dad is, well, a single dad who lives a mere five houses down from me. He is cute, nice and age-appropriate. However, we have never gotten beyond a few brief conversations at block parties and a "hi there" when we stopped by for trick-or-treating. Bummer.
He has a chain link fence and usually keeps the blinds in his den open. Many a night I have driven slowly by to see him eating alone on his black leather couch watching TV as I make my way home to eat alone on my brown couch while watching TV. Sigh.
Now some people might think that sounds a bit stalker-ish, but I prefer to think of it as being neighborly. What if he's in there choking on a strawberry? Who could help him? Or, what if he trips over a misplaced pair of shoes, falls and hits his head? Who would see him laying there unconcious? ME. I would see him (unless he has his lights off or it's during the day - then he'll just have to die) because I am being neighborly.
As an aside, he lives in a kind of creepy house. When he first moved in and showed up at the block party a few years ago, we were all like "OH, you bought THAT house" and he was all like "Yes.....yes, I did....and is there something I'm missing here?" And we're all like "Uh, well, you do know about that house, right?" And he's like, "Uh, what?" Then we tactfully told him that the previous owner had committed suicide in the garage - by shooting himself. He didn't know. Oh my.
I'll keep you updated on single dad. Maybe I'll do a drive-by here in a bit to make sure he hasn't been electrocuted or otherwise injured...it's the neighborly thing to do.
He has a chain link fence and usually keeps the blinds in his den open. Many a night I have driven slowly by to see him eating alone on his black leather couch watching TV as I make my way home to eat alone on my brown couch while watching TV. Sigh.
Now some people might think that sounds a bit stalker-ish, but I prefer to think of it as being neighborly. What if he's in there choking on a strawberry? Who could help him? Or, what if he trips over a misplaced pair of shoes, falls and hits his head? Who would see him laying there unconcious? ME. I would see him (unless he has his lights off or it's during the day - then he'll just have to die) because I am being neighborly.
As an aside, he lives in a kind of creepy house. When he first moved in and showed up at the block party a few years ago, we were all like "OH, you bought THAT house" and he was all like "Yes.....yes, I did....and is there something I'm missing here?" And we're all like "Uh, well, you do know about that house, right?" And he's like, "Uh, what?" Then we tactfully told him that the previous owner had committed suicide in the garage - by shooting himself. He didn't know. Oh my.
I'll keep you updated on single dad. Maybe I'll do a drive-by here in a bit to make sure he hasn't been electrocuted or otherwise injured...it's the neighborly thing to do.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
MAKING PROGRESS
Here's a quick update on progress for my 2009 goals (Pretty cool I already need an update, and it's only Jan. 11. Ha.):
1. Declutter - I cleaned out the large closet in my office while I was putting my Christmas decorations away in the closet. Makes me happy just to see all those nutcrackers and assorted gift bags lined up so neatly. Next up is my pantry. I hope to save some money this month by eating things I already have (brilliant, I know) Who knows what four-year-old tasty treats I'll find?!?!
2. Try new church - I have visited a new church twice now. I like it. It's very large, and I heard that the singles and single parents all kind of sit in one area towards the top. I sat near the top and looked around - I think I was sitting near the high schoolers (or, God help me, the singles are REALLY YOUNG there). I'll try a different section next time.
3. Get on Facebook - Spent last evening with a friend looking through her Facebook account and at all of her "friends" and her friends "friends." I can tell that it will be quite addictive. We studied up on various people and decided that we both need to have "fun" pictures on our page (as in "I may be a single mom but I really like to be all carefree and have fun.") However, these photos are just not easy to come by. We're thinking about staging some with random neighbors.
4. Exercise and losing weight - No comment.
1. Declutter - I cleaned out the large closet in my office while I was putting my Christmas decorations away in the closet. Makes me happy just to see all those nutcrackers and assorted gift bags lined up so neatly. Next up is my pantry. I hope to save some money this month by eating things I already have (brilliant, I know) Who knows what four-year-old tasty treats I'll find?!?!
2. Try new church - I have visited a new church twice now. I like it. It's very large, and I heard that the singles and single parents all kind of sit in one area towards the top. I sat near the top and looked around - I think I was sitting near the high schoolers (or, God help me, the singles are REALLY YOUNG there). I'll try a different section next time.
3. Get on Facebook - Spent last evening with a friend looking through her Facebook account and at all of her "friends" and her friends "friends." I can tell that it will be quite addictive. We studied up on various people and decided that we both need to have "fun" pictures on our page (as in "I may be a single mom but I really like to be all carefree and have fun.") However, these photos are just not easy to come by. We're thinking about staging some with random neighbors.
4. Exercise and losing weight - No comment.
Friday, January 9, 2009
NOT GOOD
I'd seen it coming for several months; however, getting the e-mail that let me know one of my clients would no longer need me for a $12,000 per year project I have worked on for the last five years still took my breath away for a moment. They've reconfigured their magazine, and I knew they really didn't have a need for me anymore. As a freelancer, knowing that I could count on that $12,000 a year was so great. Not good. $12,000 is quite a hit for my little annual income.
I've been a bit smug thinking about rich friends who are now facing trying times. "Well, now they'll really have to see where their trust is." Well, funny thing, looks like I too am going to have to really see where MY trust is.
I did get a call from a colleague I hadn't heard from in, like, ten years, and I'm going to be working on a large project for her here in January. It was a good reminder that God has it all figured out. I love those out-of-the-blue just-in-the-knick-of-time calls about new work. Sometimes, it's a little spooky. Wow, He really does know what's going on in my life and really does care about the details of my life (like how I'm going to pay the electric bill and support my $18-per-week Diet Coke habit).
I also had my annual OB/GYN visit today where I discussed my concern about my weight gain. While he assured me I am much thinner than most people with weight issues and I have nothing medically to worry about, my doctor did take the opportunity to flip through my file and read off what my weight has been every year for the last six years. He pointed out that there's a definite trend, and if we charted it, we'd have a nice diagonal line. Seriously? Did I need to know that much detail?
I'm headed to pull the covers up over my head in hopes that this day will end as soon as possible.
I've been a bit smug thinking about rich friends who are now facing trying times. "Well, now they'll really have to see where their trust is." Well, funny thing, looks like I too am going to have to really see where MY trust is.
I did get a call from a colleague I hadn't heard from in, like, ten years, and I'm going to be working on a large project for her here in January. It was a good reminder that God has it all figured out. I love those out-of-the-blue just-in-the-knick-of-time calls about new work. Sometimes, it's a little spooky. Wow, He really does know what's going on in my life and really does care about the details of my life (like how I'm going to pay the electric bill and support my $18-per-week Diet Coke habit).
I also had my annual OB/GYN visit today where I discussed my concern about my weight gain. While he assured me I am much thinner than most people with weight issues and I have nothing medically to worry about, my doctor did take the opportunity to flip through my file and read off what my weight has been every year for the last six years. He pointed out that there's a definite trend, and if we charted it, we'd have a nice diagonal line. Seriously? Did I need to know that much detail?
I'm headed to pull the covers up over my head in hopes that this day will end as soon as possible.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
BRADY BUNCH FLASHBACK
I was putting up three of my Christmas wreaths (about that time, since we're almost to mid-January) by covering them with white trash bags and then hanging them on nails in my attic when I had a vivid Brady Bunch flashback. Remember the episode when the boys try to scare the girls who were having a slumber party by creating a ghost out of a sheet and then running it down a zip line? Cool.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
BE IT HEREBY RESOLVED...
It's already Jan. 6, and I have yet to wrap my brain around goals for 2009. There's this brief window of opportunity for me: if I don't spend some time thinking through goals for the new year between Dec. 31 and Jan. 2, then life starts happening, and I get too busy to actually plan my life.
I do have a few resolutions in mind. They're not very organized and a bit random, but here we go:
1. Declutter - Did you see that guy on Oprah? Set the timer, get throw-away and give-away trash bags and attack a particular drawer, shelf, etc. Isn't it funny how just knowing that a junk drawer that you rarely open or a the back of a kitchen cabinet is organized and uncluttered makes you feel not just calm, but really good? I hope to tackle one room per month in 2009.
2. Lose eight pounds - I have got to make it happen. I saw a suggestion of taking photos of every meal you eat, kind of like a visual food diary, to keep you accountable. I will spare you endless photos of my meals!
3. Exercise regularly - This goes with #2. Plus, I'd like to improve my speed and prowess (ha) on the soccer field this spring (GO BLACK CATS!)I'm planning to run and lift some arm weights.
4. Consider going to a new church - I've never really found my place at the church I've been going to for the past six years. Seems like most churches don't quite know what to do with us divorced people, and frankly, I don't blame them. I don't have an answer. Lump us with the carefree, young singles? (Humiliating.) Put us in a 40+ singles group? (Wheeeeeee.) Put all the divorced people together? (What a fun group of battered and bruised people that would be!) I'm going to try out a church I know of that apparently has a really strong single parent group. I need to just suck it up and admit that, although most of my friends are married, single parents are my people.
5. Get on Facebook - Although I thought it was just for angst-ridden and hormone-driven teens, apparently Facebook is making its way to angst-ridden and hormone-driven adults. Perhaps a boy from my past will discover me, and I will decide that a nerdy, smart guy is exactly what I need at this point in my life! Or, more likely, some random sorority sister will find me, along with all of our other sorority sisters, and try to get me to buy Amway or something. I do think it will be fun. I'll keep you updated.
I do have a few resolutions in mind. They're not very organized and a bit random, but here we go:
1. Declutter - Did you see that guy on Oprah? Set the timer, get throw-away and give-away trash bags and attack a particular drawer, shelf, etc. Isn't it funny how just knowing that a junk drawer that you rarely open or a the back of a kitchen cabinet is organized and uncluttered makes you feel not just calm, but really good? I hope to tackle one room per month in 2009.
2. Lose eight pounds - I have got to make it happen. I saw a suggestion of taking photos of every meal you eat, kind of like a visual food diary, to keep you accountable. I will spare you endless photos of my meals!
3. Exercise regularly - This goes with #2. Plus, I'd like to improve my speed and prowess (ha) on the soccer field this spring (GO BLACK CATS!)I'm planning to run and lift some arm weights.
4. Consider going to a new church - I've never really found my place at the church I've been going to for the past six years. Seems like most churches don't quite know what to do with us divorced people, and frankly, I don't blame them. I don't have an answer. Lump us with the carefree, young singles? (Humiliating.) Put us in a 40+ singles group? (Wheeeeeee.) Put all the divorced people together? (What a fun group of battered and bruised people that would be!) I'm going to try out a church I know of that apparently has a really strong single parent group. I need to just suck it up and admit that, although most of my friends are married, single parents are my people.
5. Get on Facebook - Although I thought it was just for angst-ridden and hormone-driven teens, apparently Facebook is making its way to angst-ridden and hormone-driven adults. Perhaps a boy from my past will discover me, and I will decide that a nerdy, smart guy is exactly what I need at this point in my life! Or, more likely, some random sorority sister will find me, along with all of our other sorority sisters, and try to get me to buy Amway or something. I do think it will be fun. I'll keep you updated.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
SURPRISE. SURPRISE.
Due to a rather twisted turn of events, I ended up not having Cole on New Year's Eve. While being stuck at home with a child on New Year's Eve can be depressing, being stuck at home by yourself can be REALLY depressing. So, I called my friend A. and she called her friend M. and we were ready for a girls' night out.
We went to the bar at Nobu and enjoyed drinks, sushi and people watching. The short-short dress with very bare legs was definitely the uniform of the night. We ended up at another bar at midnight toasting in the new year.
M. kept toasting to the fact that by next year at this time we would all have men in our lives. I kept telling her to slow her roll and just toast to having had a date by this time next year. Sad to say, but at this point I think that might be a more realistic goal.
Here's to good friends, good health, good work and a good date in 2009!
We went to the bar at Nobu and enjoyed drinks, sushi and people watching. The short-short dress with very bare legs was definitely the uniform of the night. We ended up at another bar at midnight toasting in the new year.
M. kept toasting to the fact that by next year at this time we would all have men in our lives. I kept telling her to slow her roll and just toast to having had a date by this time next year. Sad to say, but at this point I think that might be a more realistic goal.
Here's to good friends, good health, good work and a good date in 2009!
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